Monday, November 16, 2015
I had a good conversation with a stranger today.
I was in the cab on the way to work this morn. I try to avoid early morning conversations with cab drivers. When I do get involved, either it'd be when I get annoyed by unnecessary comments, or when the topic has the potential to warm me up for the day.
Since the destination was school, I was asked whether I enjoyed teaching. It led to the question of whether I'd continue to study. He was very shocked to know that EC teachers need to be qualified. I had expected that shock (it happens all the time when you tell it to the general public. They've not heard about qualifications of trained EC teachers in places like Finland and Australia... they'd be gobsmacked if they knew). The conversation was like a train tunnel - we talked about Confucius and inculcating good habits in children, brain waves and music, poetry and then to Buddha's description on the seven types of wives.
It was a nice start to Monday.
I'm not ending it well though. After I left the office, I felt this need to take a break. Right now, I feel weary of needing. In interactions between my world and what's out there, in putting myself in other people's shoes and knowing that I am not worthy, I feel this hurt in my heart. I do not know what to do with it. I just sit with it and ponder why I feel this way. What will medicate this hurt? This world is just too big, yet it floats like dust. The crowd out there is just too wild, yet it feels very lonely. It feels like being stuck between two worlds alone. I'm very weary.